Next Great Artist!

Reality shows are generally not my thing. But as we are artists, my husband and I have been watching this one. It is the basic premise of a bunch of various folks, various challenges, and one by one voted off the show. The ones of this genre that I have watched have been cooking shows like "The Next Iron Chef" (we totally loved Micheal Symon from the get-go and were really glad he won; the second time around was less interesting and the guy who won was much less interesting.)

We have been watching these artists struggle along in this show. It's been a struggle to keep watching as there seems to be such a disconnect between how we live our lives as artist and how these poor bastards are directed. One of the things that is really clear to me is that you hone a talent and sink deeper and deeper into your understanding of your skill/art.

These guys are painting one day and building 3d sculpture the next. The challenges range from really thoughtful to just plain silly. It's not productive toward building the skill and language of art, in my opinion, but just silly stress testing of these folks.

Mostly the show is frustrating and upsetting due to the judging and all the posturing of the "fine art" judges.

But it also is really interesting to watch other creative people work on their process. Mostly the camera people/editors don't understand what the creative process is so they focus on stupid inter-personal garbage of who's liking who and who thinks who is a jerk.

But one of the things that I have been getting from the show is a reminder that art is intensely personal. The more vulnerable is the more interesting and evocative.

I have been thinking about all the things that I do and wondering how this all fits together into my art. So much of what I do is about the final product - brewing, gardening, knitting/dyeing, production metal smithing. Often the actual creative part is lost in the crushing amount of paperwork and detail that running 2 business and a very busy life create.

My art is what I do and what I am. But how do I open up and present the confusion of going through menopause while struggling with a brain injury? How do I share the rebirth of getting my brain back only to struggle with continuing post traumatic stress and trying not to mourn the loss of a decade and so many memories.

I've seen some folks use memory boxes/shadow boxes and those are cool. And some I have even envied and wished that I had made them. But I keep being drawn to other ideas of sculpture/mobiles to express these emotions.

I am working on the courage necessary to make these leaps. It's much easier to sink into the piles of paperwork and other details but I am thinking that my art is getting impatient and may not wait much longer. We'll see.