Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Checking in

Sometimes I absentmindedly click on my blog to see if it's been updated.


I think about what I want to say a lot during the day. Most of what I think about is completed in my head and never makes it to you. I wish I could hold on to it and get it put out there as I think some of it is pretty profound/interesting. It seems like most of what gets into my blog is less than profound/prosaic. I try to keep away from the "I got up this morning and ate cereal. It got dressed and got on the bus..." sort of blogs that I see around.

I do write this blog mostly to keep in touch with my family/friends - "without having to actually keep in touch with my family" as my sister said. Ouch. Busted. It's not that I don't like keeping in touch, because I do. I have a cool family that I love very much. It's more the actually process of keeping in touch that eludes me.

I am not much for the phone. I used to be a chatter, but that has faded away. I pretty much want to transact what ever business and then be off the phone. Not really good for "keeping in touchness". Does anyone write letters anymore? I do fire off a bit or so via email to folks, but it is mostly again pretty business-like.

I blog to share my thoughts with folks and often with myself. I can really surprise myself with what I actually type here. With where my fingers are led by my brain. I often blog late at night after an exhausting day as a way to decompress. Such as tonight. I can often be somewhat estranged from how I am feeling - my interior landscape. I pretty much keep my head down and keep slogging on. It's hard for me to stay in touch with myself when fairly overwhelmed with the details of running a life as complicated as ours.

I think that has been one of the big benefits of writing here. It's like writing a letter to myself/my family/my friends/random clickers and having the bonus of not having to mail it. It does seem like there is supposed to be a separation/tacit agreement that what issues are raised in the blog are not to be talked/discussed in face-to-face meetings. It's just a feeling I get when I mention somebody elses blog and the author seems to feel embarrassed. I've never actually asked someone if they are upset with my verbal reminder of their written exploration.

I sometimes wonder if my posts are too scattered. I read other blog where the author is very disciplined about writing on a subject in most of the posts. I try to make sure to update on a universe of subjects but pretty much anything goes.

I found myself thinking of an Airedale puppy today. Wonder if it's getting time. I also found myself quite busy with the life I have as it is. But it was good to think about and not have it hurt so badly.


jeannary said...

You are right that sometimes you feel like you are looking in someone's drawers or something when you mention their blog. And it can be startling when someone has read-not because you read it but because I think we forget sometimes that they actually get read.
I love blogs for the same reason you write in yours. They give a feeling of connection, an inner glimpse of a friend's world. In a way, they make you feel closer as it is an uninterrupted stream of thought. By reading it, we are forced to listen to the whole process. Of course we can comment later :)
Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with us!

Spike said...

Jeannary, you are very right about the reaction - "like looking in their drawers" - I giggled for a while trying to decide which kind of drawers you were referencing! (underware or underware holder)

I know I wish that more friends blogged. I do think it is a deeper, more coherent connection with the person and their life/thoughts about their life.

I sometimes click through just random blogs to see what the rest of the world is up to. It's really amazing.

You are welcome, and thank you to you!

Jim Downey said...

It's funny. Particularly when we were caring for Martha Sr. I used to get annoyed with family and friends who would ask me "how is it going?" - because most every day I had written exactly that. I just wanted to tell them to read my damned blog - not ask me to have to repeat what I had taken the time to explain at length in a personal email.

Now? Some of that, but not so much. I use my personal blog for a lot of things, some related to the novel, some cynical observations on the human condition, some just purely personal stuff.

I do agree that I wish more people did blog - I like having the chance to keep up on what is happening with friends this way.

So, thanks for whenever you *do* update, Spike!

Jim D.

Anonymous said...

Responding to what Jim wrote:

When I worked in the software industry we had an expression RTFM, meaning "Read The *Frendly* Manual." It was the not so friendly reply to a stupid--and yes there are stupid--question that was already covered in the manual. I wonder if we need such an expression: RMFB or RTFB or well you get the idea...

Spike said...

Especially when going through something as wrenching/draining as what you went through, Jim! I was impressed at how stark and honest you were of your impressions of that time. It was often draining to just read. I can't imagine what it would be like to live it. Much less have to talk about it repeatedly.

Anon, hee hee! RTFB -- good one! Maybe put up teeshirts on CafePress!

Rod said...

Sister S.
We also read your blog to keep in touch (or at least the illusion of). Have not entered the world of blogging yet. Thanks for doing your blog.
Brother R.

Spike said...

Brother R!

Good to know you are here! You can set up a blog that is only visible to folks that you approve. It would be excellent to hear more about your life and loved ones! Speaking of which, hugs to all!

Sister S